[ANoTHER YEAR]

As many of you know, my birthday was this past week. I just wanted to take time out to thank all of those that were involved in making it an unforgettable one! As I sit here reflecting on this past year and my week of events, I can’t help but feel blessed beyond measure. One of my New Year’s resolutions was to slowly filter the dead weight out of my life and prayed to be shown who should stay/be let in. For the first time in many years I genuinely believe that the people that are in my life at this very instance are in it for all the right reasons, which is just an incredible feeling. I suppose you could say my life is beginning to make sense to me (knock on wood). I’m realizing with age (and finally willing to admit), that the more I learn the less I know (sounds crazy, but definitely true). Last year I never would have come to that epiphany, but a new year and a new me! I’m just taking life one day at a time, because sometimes that is all you can do. I’m determine to make this my best year yet & want to thank all my amazing family, friends (new & old), co-worker, fellow students, etc… for helping me celebrate another year! The best is yet to come, check back same time next year :)

..:..QUESTiON oF THE DaY..:.

A couple weeks ago I had what should have been an extremely discouraging conversation with a fairly good friend. Instead, my curiosity turned it into a “question of the day”. I was asked if I planned to still go to the inauguration and I told him I was down to plan D (which consisted of me catching a one way flight to DC then riding back with a friend & 3 of his boys to Atlanta Tuesday because of a prior work engagement on Wednesday… a lot, I’m aware of that, but hey I’m one who believes in rolling with the punches life throws at me). So he responded with “You’re going to be single for eternity if you think that $h!t would fly… if you had a man”. Initially I was a taken back. Nobody wants hear that, but after my initial shock wore off I began to plea my case. I tend to think that a friend is a FRIEND, regardless of gender. The first point I brought up was that it wasn’t as though it was my first option, but more sort of a last resort. He still wasn’t hearing me. Before I could respond with anything else, he told me to ask around. Me being the naturally inquisitive person I am, I did just that. I sent a text out to men I’m cool with, good friends, and/or acquaintances with that read: “If you and I were together, would you have a problem with me riding back from the inauguration with a friend (who happens to be male) and 3 of his boys?”. The responses varied (as I hoped), literally from one end of the spectrum to the next. The trend seemed to be, the men that know me the best (1 I went to elementary, middle and high school, and two others I went to middle and high school with) all said that it wouldn’t be a problem. The older men I’m cool with, all but one said it would be a big problem. A few others said that they wouldn’t be necessarily happy about it, but if I made them comfortable about the situation as far as reassuring them, they’d get over it. And then there were the ones who weren’t having it at all. To quote them:

· BL (known since 4th grade): “If you had no other way it wouldn’t be a problem … it’s a ride home… if I couldn’t make it, I’d expect you to get home however you could within reason… if we were together that means I’d trust you…”
· Glen (known since 6th grade): “Not a problem at all… If any man says different, they’re insecure”
· Roger-Cromartie (known since 2nd grade): “It wouldn’t be a problem…I’d trust you… especially if you told me before and I knew they really were just friends… It’s not like that was your initial plan or you’re going on vacation with them, just a ride back…”
· *Rich (known less than a year): “F*** YES!... It would definitely be a problem!... If we were together, why couldn’t you just sit at home with me and watch it if I couldn’t go?”
· *Ray (known a year and a half): “Yes! … It’s just not a safe situation, hell I wouldn’t even let you ride in the car with me and 3 of my boys I’ve known all my life for 9 hrs... You couldn’t tell me they were all gay, I’d still respond the same way… It’s not about the ride it’s about the guys in general, men know other men even if it’s completely innocent. No guy wants to hear about his girl being with a group of guys for ANY reason… our egos can’t handle it…”
· *Will (known less than a year): “IT’S A RIDE! I’d be cool with it as long as it wasn’t anyone you’ve dated in the past… If I felt like something wasn’t right about the situation, I’d just buy you a plane ticket back OR just be at your place when he dropped you off… If I did have a problem with it, I’d let it go because this is a last resort type thing and you’re going to experience HiSTORY, so I wouldn’t tell you not to go…”
· *Jackson (known 4 years): “I just wouldn’t want anyone to have that much time to POTENTIALLY have a ‘good’ conversation with you to spark anything… It’s never cool for your girl to be around a whole bunch of guys, but I do understand its history, but not really…”
· *Jay (known 4 years… the conversation with this person inspired me to write this blog): “It’d definitely be a problem… It’s a respect level you should have for your boyfriend to not entertain male company like that…”
· *Mr.Big (known 2 years): “If I knew, it wouldn’t necessarily be a problem… however to find friendship in the opposite sex is quite rare…”

These conversations were enlightening to say the least, one more so than the others. After asking *Mr. Big my question of the day, we went off into other tangents just bouncing ideas and theories around. He then said something that stopped me dead in my tracks. It’s his belief that “egos are all about insecurities… sometimes it is about ego, but the root of one’s ego is insecurity”. After all the dialogue, I couldn’t help but come to the realization that men are just as bruised, battered, and scarred as women. I get it. Really I do. Nevertheless, I think there was a subconscious reason why so many men had a problem with my “question of the day”. Whether they’ll admit it or not, it is my opinion their “problem” really lies with past relationships or experiences with women. That being said, my next question: do men hide behind their egos & why?

*Name has been changed to protect the innocent, their opinions, and their transparency in our conversations

[EXPOSED]

For those who don’t know me, I’ll put you up to speed with a couple relevant bullet points for this blog:

· I was born in Nashville, TN
· I moved to Louisville, KY in time to start kindergarten
· I just recently move to the “A” (October 1st to be exact)

Before my move, I thought that I’d come down here and be a socialite in some sort of aspect; mainly because I enjoy trying new things and having new experiences (good & bad). But, due to one of my jobs (the one that happens to pay my bills), I’m out of town typically 3-4 days a week. Since the move, I’m borderline embarrassed to admit that I’ve yet to step outside the box. Period. And for those who know me, that’s definitely unlike me. However one day last week, I randomly hung out with a friend of a friends and one of his friends (who happens to be abstract, eccentric, and artsy). To my surprise he invited me to go to an event that weekend (Sloppy Seconds, what a great name!). That night, I met up with him and his friends at his place. Truth be told, I was blown away how welcoming and accepting everyone was from jump. The same adjectives that were used to describe him, apply to his friends as well (I also want to make it clear that I’m using these adjective in a positive self expressive way). Prior to this night I thought that the majority of the city was materialistic, artificial, superficial, etc… Just when I was beginning to put a generalization on the city, I realized that I had sheltered myself. That night my eyes were open to a different part of Atlanta; a part without paradoxes and initial judgment based on materialistic factors. After arriving at the club and taking in the atmosphere, I had a moment of clarity. While at the bar with a friend who was buying me a beer (which I’ve only had once, so I was bought a fruity Granny Smith Cider Beer, lol), I realized I was surrounded by genuine people who were genuinely there for all the reasons they should be. Dope music. A good time with friends. To express themselves in a positive/artistic light. I felt that the bullsh!t and extra stuff was all left at home. There weren’t females plotting their way into VIP in hopes to catch the eye of a celeb/someone in the industry in order to “trick” so the bills can get paid this month. That was non-existent. Being at Sloppy Seconds, definitely gave me insight that Atlanta isn’t entirely what its perception is. That the perception is just what is in the forefront and “mainstream” if you will. Real people do exist amongst the BS here, I know. I have offically been exposed.

MY VERY FIRST BLOG

I have to be completely honest, as much as I am on my laptop & the 'net this is my very FiRST blog! I came up with the idea to create my own blog site because of a couple different experiences I've recently had. The more I just "go with the flow" in my NeW city (ATL) the more I get exposed to (good/bad, positive/negative, hilarious, embarrassing, life lessons, etc...). I try to not take myself too serious, live life without regret, acknowledge when I was wrong learn from it then move on, and most important: ENJOY every minute of life because you only live once! The blogs that I will write will be mainly life lessons/reflections with experiences incorporated in the story, most in which will begin and/or end with a question because to me life is many open ended question. Hope you enjoy & I'm looking forward to any responses!

DP

I almost forgot! This week I was put on through a friend of a friend of a friend (confusing, I know, lol) to a local group from ATL that I fell in LOVE with! Their name is Holly Weerd & just released their new cd "Electricity Showroom" check them out: http://www.myspace.com/hollyweerd